discover how smart, strong and successful women can finally find your man by Evan Marc Katz

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dating coach for smart, strong, successful women Evan Marc Katz

I've been dating my boyfriend for a couple of months. I'thousand 50, he is 60. We both have Ph.D's. We met from an online dating service. Initially I wasn't certain I had any chemistry only decided to give the guy a shot. He is smart, funny, and had been thoughtful, giving me gifts, writing me notes, etc. Texts a lot, makes time for me on weekends and once during the calendar week. About a few weeks in we were sitting on the bed watching TV, talking. He started talking baby talk to me. Information technology was a loftier pitched, mushing words together, weird baby talk. I was shocked. He kept at it and I was completely turned off.

Since I had been and then into him at the time it was not that I was looking for a reason to break things off. Information technology only took me by complete surprise. He's done it many times, but when we are alone, never in public…so far. Information technology's usually in the evening, possibly when he is more relaxed, I don't know. But it'south definitely a turn off. After the tertiary time I said to him in the nicest way possible, "Did you know yous talk infant talk?" I just was not sure what to say to him! He said something like he didn't realize it. I asked him if anyone else in his by had commented on it and he said no. (Hmmm, why am I then lucky to go this, I idea?). But he couldn't take only started doing this with me. The fourth fourth dimension I said it once again and he tried to say that he was "just relaxed".

Several things happened over the following 6 weeks that has made me wonder if he is really the one for me. Some passive ambitious behavior, some pouting when he doesn't get his mode. Some really young behavior. He actually had an alcoholic parent and has some of those characteristics from growing up in that family. His brother is similarly emotionally stunted…Although I would non have said my young man is emotionally stunted, I'm beginning to think that he is. Why does he practice this? Is this common? I take heard adult women exercise this and it is creepy then, too. Simply this is a huge turn off and I experience like running dwelling house when he does it. Not sure why I haven't….I have not yet said I don't desire him to do information technology. I've been thinking about how to arroyo him with this, or hoping it was just going to be a one or ii time thing, just it looks like this is a role of his communication style. In that location is goose egg else surrounding the infant talk…like he isn't trying to ask for sexual practice, or anything like that. I am simply baffled past this and have never heard a grown human do this. Your thoughts????

Rae

My thoughts? You certainly asked the weirdest question of the month. So there'southward that.

But since I'm hither to help solve your dating problems, let'south tease this out and dissect your babe-talking guy from a few unlike angles, okay?

I thing'south for sure: you don't want to bottle this up and build up resentment.

First of all, babe talk, in and of itself, should not exist the reason to break up. I will concede that information technology'south unusual. I will concede that it's abrasive. But if he's smart, funny, thoughtful, relationship-oriented, financially stable, and good in bed, so information technology would be hard to say, with a straight face up, that you should dump him when he brings out the high-pitched vocalism a couple of times a month.

As such, baby talk — peculiarly washed privately — is no different than any other annoying quality that one might see in a partner. I pick the pare on the bottom of my feet when I read in bed. Disgusting, right? My wife hasn't dumped me still. My wife eats Oreos in front end of the sink before brushing her teeth. Kinda peculiar, huh? And nonetheless I predict we will make information technology to our next anniversary.

Why you should wait 2years before getting marriedTo exist clear — I'm not defending the baby talk itself — I'm but trying to put this odd, but beneficial, action in its proper place. There are far greater sins in a human relationship to consider, and there are always valid reasons to break upwardly with someone — y'all just take to unpack them and separate them from the baby talk itself. The immaturity, the passive-aggressiveness you cited in a higher place — perhaps the baby talk relates to it, perchance information technology doesn't. Simply that's why you appointment for ii+ years before y'all get married. You get to encounter a human being, in full, without your love blinders on. Downward the road, you can decide for yourself if his beliefs is acceptable or unacceptable. To me, odd personal habits are usually adequate, because they don't involve how he treats y'all. One time he treats you lot poorly, or communication isn't working for yous, that'southward another story.

You certainly asked the weirdest question of the month. And so there's that.

1 thing's for certain: y'all don't want to canteen this up and build up resentment. You have to say something in a gentle style — because, chances are, no one has ever told him the truth most how grating this addiction is. Let him know that you intendance about him, yous're enjoying yourself, and yet you find yourself getting unintentionally bellyaching with him. Not because he'due south a bad guy, but because baby talk is such a departure from how you normally communicate and because you lot've never met anyone else who does anything like that in your 50 years. You're pleased that he feels relaxed effectually y'all, only you lot simply want to understand this behavior more than.

Come from a place of understanding and curiosity, rather than lecturing, and, at the very to the lowest degree, he'll know how yous feel about his unique song stylings.

Whether it stops — and whether it'due south dealbreaker material – only one of those is within your control. Delight come back and let u.s. know what happens.

Everyone else, please weigh in on the baby-talker and allow me know what the about unusual/abrasive trait yous've ever had in a partner.